You Consume Me - Part:8

His eyes didn’t fail to dart back to her side and catch a glimpse of her. He couldn’t believe that this was really happening. He smiled thinking about the dream come true moments. When he had bought a new car for himself, or in fact every day after that, he had this wish to ask her and take her on a long drive. But the words used to get dissolved in his throat whenever he tried doing it.  She was doing all sorts of childish antics which sort of amused him. He had always seen her as the ever mature, serious woman but today, he was knowing the bubbly girl inside her. The suppressed child in her seemed to peep out in her intoxicated state.

She turned to his side and caught him gazing. She raised her eyebrows and enquired, “What are you looking at?”

Her voice was husky and very sexy. It took all his controls from getting carried away by her sensuous voice. It appeared like a scene cut straight out of a movie where the heroine is drunk and getting all romantic with the hero in her subconscious state.

He looked away from her and focussed on the road muttering, “Nothing!”

“I know…..tum mujhe hi dekh rahe ho…..humesha dekhte teh, hai na?”

She shook her head with a playful smile and kept muttering “I know”

He felt a little taken aback by what he heard. She knew and she has noticed his interest in her. It was indeed an embarrassing moment and he tried to cover up sheepishly, “It’s not what you think….”

She snapped his explanation, “Explanation dene ki zaroorat hi nahi…..I mean you haven’t done anything wrong….aur ab toh mera koyi boyfriend ya fiancé nahi….booked nahi hoon na?  Chod diya ussne…..toh koyi bhi kabhi bhi dekh sakta hai….Shaayad uss keliye kaabil nahi thi”

He was annoyed by her self-pitying talks and her self degrading thoughts. He flared up at the mere thought that she was in so much pain due to her break up. He muttered angrily, “He didn’t deserve you!”

She heard it although his voice wasn’t very clear and audible. She hiccupped and smiled faintly before mumbling, “Then who deserves me?”

 It wasn’t a question to him though she couldn’t deny that she did wish a consoling answer from him. He heard her words and also her mind’s inner voice. He was urged to say his name as an answer but he held back and replied, “You deserve the best!”

She smiled again as if hushing it away and also well realizing that wasn’t the first answer he intended to say.

With a know it all attitude, she spoke up after a deep silence, “Do you know something?”

He glanced to her side instantly and she continued, “Do you know what is the biggest distance in the world?”

He was confused by the question while she continued to reply to her own question, “Loving someone who is just before your eyes yet not being able to let them know what you feel for them”

He was stunned by her direct hinting of their situation but he was in for more surprises that night. She went on and added, “Pehle tum uss situation mein teh aur ab main…”

The last part trailed away as a faint whisper from her lips but he didn’t miss it.

He let the silence prevail not knowing what to reply or rather didn’t want to add something to spoil that moment. He just let those words sink in and tried to cherish it.

“Can I ask you a favour?” she broke the silence and he said, “Yeah of course….bolo”

As if her tying bridle snapped by his reply, she leaned closer to him and rested her head on his chest.

He felt his heart tug at that gesture of her. He couldn’t fathom what he felt exactly nor could he brush away the thought that she was not in her senses and she would later regret whatever she was doing now. He was a gentleman and felt that it was his duty to warn her. He slowly made up his arguing heart and said, “Khud ko sambaalo…..Tum hosh mein….”

He didn’t complete his words when her fingers touched his lips and she whispered, “Shhhh….. I know I am drunk….. don’t say it….”

He was about to say something when she whimpered, “Mujhe iss nasha se baahar nahi aana”

She was surprising him time and again and his baffled state was evident in his body language as he shifted uneasily in his seat. He stopped the car to the side of the road. He sure was happy and felt peace with their closeness but then on another side, he was puzzled as to where this night was leading them to.

“I want you all for myself”

She spelled it out finally but also added, “Just for this night…..”

He stayed quiet while she kept saying, “with no shadows to follow…..just you, me and this magical night”

He didn’t know what to reply though his heart screamed out more than a yes. She parted from his chest and looked straight into his eyes, “Will you be mine?”

Suno na suno na

Kahe kya

Suno na suno na

Dil mera

Suno na suno na

Sunlo zara

Teri bahon mein

mujhe rehna hai raat bhar

Teri bahon mein

Hogi subah

Be intehaan be intehaan

Yun pyaar kar

Yun pyaar kar

Be intehaan

[To be continued]

When Shadows Turn Dark - A trailer

A trailer to my first book, "When Shadows Turn Dark"

You Consume me - Part 7

She wasn't in her senses and he was confused at what he could do now. For a moment he forgot everything else and swayed with her, like a puppet in her hands. He didn't want this moment to pass away and get separated from her.
He didn't know when the music changed or when the rest of them started leaving the floor one by one. It was only when his friend came and shook him did he know that the party was nearing the end and it was time to go.
Perhaps Harish and Gayu knew what they had to do. They suggested that she would be safe with him and he should take her home.

He looked around to check if any of her close friends were there. Fortunately or unfortunately none were seen. He couldn't entrust her with anyone else. Though his friend tried to dissuade him from taking on the  responsibility but he wasn't the one to listen.
On the other side she did everything to make it all the more difficult. Without a sense or knowledge to what she said, clinging onto his collar and pulling him closer to herself, "take me on a long drive na.....This place is suffocating me"
Her intoxicating voice held him seductively captive and her words made him smile genuinely. He was mesmerized by her. 

Perhaps the vodka in her system just gave her the courage to speak up her heart which he was yet to gain.
She held him firmly, without inhibitions and twirled around his neck as if claiming every right that he wished to give her. It was something that only she truly deserved. He wished with a heavy heart, only if it were a few days before.....
But nevertheless he wasn't going to back off now.

His thoughts snapped when his friend's voice intervened, "bhai yeh sahi nahi hai...agar Anwita bhabi ko patha chalega toh unne bhoora lagega..."
He didn't let his friend speak further but just cut him short in annoyance, "let me live this night my way"
His friend looked confused while he continued, "bhai bhai bhulaatha hai na? Ek bhai ke tarah soch tab sab sahi lagega"
Somewhere down his heart, he blamed his friend for all the mess up caused. In a hurry to get him hooked, his friend had indeed landed him in such a nasty tangle of relationships. 

With a pat on his shoulders, he walked away tagging her along in his arms. His friend sure had doubts and second thoughts now regarding his decision to proceed with the alliance he brought forward for his brother. He silently repented his fast forward actions and slowly realized where he went gone wrong and misunderstood what his brother really wished for.

Meanwhile it was a magical night for him, filled with moments that he never thought would happen ever. She was with him though not in her complete senses. 
He smiled thinking that her deepest secrets and desires were spilling out slowly. The alcohol was helping her forget everything except the ardent feeling that they were together at that moment.

He asked her driver to take back the car home as he led her to his. He hadn't drunk even a peg and so he sent his driver away. He didn't a third person between them in this blissful time. 

In a few minutes, he zoomed out, smoothly ducking the maddening traffic. In no time, they were driving out of the city limits. She had wished for a long drive with him and he was determined to make that wish of hers come true. It was indeed going to be a long night and a long drive! 

You consume me - Part 6

Part 6
Harsih was at his home even before he stepped out. He knew his friend a little too well and was sure that he will lose his sanity on gearing this news. As expected he was planning to meet her and àlso given a chance bash up her fiance.
"Basta**", he banged the table angrily. He was more than angry with the insensitive cheat. He couldn't control his anger thinking about the hurt caused to her. After having got such a great girl like her, he had cheated on her and betrayed her trust.

Harish tried to knock some sense into his friend's head. Many things were at stake now and one wrong move could jeopardise everything and break many hearts.
"Mere baat dhyaan se suno...tu kuch aisa waise nahi karoge....usse waqt lagega and just give her that.....Meanwhile don't forget that you have jumped hastily and given promises to another girl. ...usse bekaar mein beech mein laaya hai.....so everything needs time to sort out..."

He knew his friend was right though his heart screamed against it and the only thought which sounded right to his heart was to run to her and take her into his protective embrace. He just wanted to take her away from all those pains and hide her securely in his arms. That heart of his which was long back stolen by her wasnt bothered or scared of the world. For him she meant his world and nothing but her was his worry.

But one thing was right in his friend's words. He had to give her the time and space to sort this out. He didn't want to barge into her life and complicate it further.  He didn't want to add to her troubles.

Days were passing by slowly. He could see that she had totally given up on her fiance.....err ex fiance.
He had just one anger now. If only all this had happened a few days before, then everything would have fallen in perfect places. She would have been his by now and a stranger wouldn't have been his fiance all of a sudden. He sighed deeply remorsing and repenting his hasty step.

On the other side, she had changed herself drastically and put up a distinct mask of indifference. She acted as if everything was fine and also that she was happy. Her indifference and her facade wasn't strong enough to make him believe that she was all well and happy. He could see through the mask and see how fragile and vulnerable she was. Her torment wasn't hidden from him but he didn't hastily jump into anything.  Though he gave her comforting words at every given chance he tied down himself from her. The truth was that her trauma was beyond what he could handle and he wouldn't be able to stop himself if she leaned onto him or took refuge in his shoulder. As his friend said many things were at stake now and he couldn't ruthlessly ruin so many lives and goodwill of all his friends. Even she wouldn't want him to do that.

Anwita probably could see through the suppressed interactions and a selfish part of her didn't want to let him go at any cost. She wanted him to bound to her forever. She tried her best to pressurise on their quick wedding. She tried to influence his decisions through their common friends but then there was always a hurdle that he was too stubborn and didn't want to hurry the wedding. He openly declared that he needed time. THe possessive female in her was nervous that more the time gap, more was the riSk of losing him. What she didn't even ponder on was that she had already lost him and that his heart belonged to someone else. She could never get him all for herself now. She conveniently ignored that realization as her sole aim now was to get hitched to him as his wife.

It was their Harish and Gayu's wedding anniversary party and it was a grand affair and all were invited. She did weigh the option of not going for the party. He would be there and with him his fiance Anwita.she was yet to know why it pained to see them together.
Towards the evening she decided to go finally. She couldn't run away from all this or remain hiding forever. She just had to come in terms with this strange situation she was in. So she dressed up in a knee length frock and reached the venue just in time.
As expected he was there too and she secretly felt happy that he was alone. Anwita probably was struck in some urgent work and would join only later.

She smiled at the little devilish thought though she also cringed about the same. She was thoroughly confused about where her wierd thoughts were leading her to. It wasn't fair on her part to even think about all this.
She shrugged it off like rubbish from her mind and tried to mingle with her friends.
His eyes never left sight of her and from every corner of where he went, he kept gazing at her gorgeous self, at times stealthily and most times directly making no attempt to hide his interest. Her ravishing beauty, her fiesty curves didn't do any help to control his naughty thoughts. The dress was another turn on.

Her smiles were magical though it weren't from deepest of her heart.
In one random moment he understood that he wasn't the only guy who was ogling at her. Every man's eye in the party hall was glued to her and he felt a twitch in his heart. All he wished was to whisk her away from her to some secluded places where no eyes could reach.

He realized something was wrong when her eyes twinkled mischievously in reply to his gaze. She smiled back without a mask of indifference. What changed all of a sudden? A second's thought made him understand that she had been drinking something really hot.
Perhaps it was her friend's prank or maybe she herself mixed vodka in her drink. She was swaying her hips, so unlikely of her and marching towards the dance floor.

And to add to his woes the entire male clan were swirling arounder her. His controls snapped the moment she slipped and fell into someone's hands. Every man around her was slyly looking for chances to touch her. That's it and he forgot everything else and marched to her.
In a twirl, he pulled her away from them and into his arms.

You Consume Me - Part 5

She couldn’t sleep even though she felt completely drained out after the party. She didn’t want to accept or see the obvious reason for the sleeplessness and so she pulled out the book she had been reading. Switching on the reading lamp, she tried to read. She read and reread the same line, trying her best to focus on the book but her mind just refused to concentrate. She couldn’t move to the next line as the visions of him swaying with another girl flashed across her mind, in her eyes.

His happy face when he opened the champagne bottle and raised a toast to celebrate his engagement made her cringe for reasons unknown to her. Why was she unhappy? Why was she even thinking so much about it, about him?

In fact she should be happy that he got a perfect girl for himself, someone like her who could handle a thick headed guy like him. She had wished this for him, even on his birthday. So what changed now?

She didn’t know and perhaps never wanted to know. She hugged her pillow and tried to sleep once more. In less than a minute, she was up again and this time, she fiddled with her phone. She felt that a chat with her fiancé would pull her out of this annoying state.

She opened WA but for some reason, her fingers clicked the contacts and scrolled to his name. Without a second thought, she clicked open the chat. She tried to reason out, “Afterall we are friends and can’t they have a conversation, especially after such a special day in his life?”

She agreed to her own reasoning and started typing. It started with “Hey” and she deleted it. She then typed congrats but then concluded that she already said that to him. She was so confused on how to start and what to say to him. Words just dissolved at her finger tips or probably in her conflicting mind.

Her heart longed to call him up and say all that she felt though she wasn’t clear what those feelings were. She was committed to someone and it wasn’t a casual affair. They were engaged and were getting married very soon. Then what was this new confusion?

She typed, erased, and then again typed. She didn’t know the passing time as her mind was clogged with lots of emotions. She was sad. And she was furious too with herself.

Her message never seemed to finish or get sent to him. He waited and waited. His patience surprised him. When his impatient side took over, he typed, “Type hi karthi rahogi, huh?”

He didn’t think much before sending it off.  Shocked would be an understatement. Caught offguard, red handed would be the exact state she was in. He knew that she was trying to talk to him. He had been observing her. She had to do something and cover up but what?

“Aur kitna waqt lagega??” his message beeped again and she quickly replied without further thinking, “I just wanted to congratulate you”

He was vexed at her audacity to lie and his annoyance was evident when he typed back, “Oh really?? Well then just do it?? Congratulations ki spelling bhool gayi kya?”

Now she was flaring up too. She muttered as she stared into his message, “Khadoos akdu kaheeka”

Then she typed it out, “Nah just thinking of a right way to do it….but I guess you are in a hurry for everything!”

Afterall his marriage decision was also in such a hurried manner. She couldn’t help a smirk when she thought about it. He was irritated by the act she put up. The façade was indeed getting too much for him. Before he could say anything more, another message popped up, “So now here it is…Congratulations! She is a nice girl and will keep you happy! Good night!”

And she quickly exited the chat and went offline but not before changing her DP to a new selfie of hers and her fiancé from the party.

“That’s it,” was his last sane thought. He also saw the picture change. Their fingers entwined and faces touching each other, so close they were. He fisted his hands and clenched his jaws before he threw the phone angrily on the bed. He had this urge to pick it back and call her but then he can’t or rather he won’t. She was doing all this on purpose.

Kaise batayein, kiun tujhko chahe, yaara bataa na paaye.

Baatein dilo ki, dekho jo baaki, aankhein tujhe samjhaye.

Tu jaane na ..aaa aaa aaa ........

Tu jaane na ....aaa aaaa........ tu jaane na ............

Milke bhi, hum na mile, tum se na jaane kiun.

Milon ke, hai faasle, tum se na jaane kiun.

anjaane, hai silsile, tum se na jaane kiun.

Sapne hai, palkon tale, tum se na jaane kiunnnnnnnnnnnn

Kaise bataayein, kiun tujhko chahe, yaara bataa na paaye.

His anger possessed him and his logical calm head was lost. He too quickly changed his DP to his picture with his girl. “Yes my girl, madly deeply in love with her”. That was his new status for the world to see. No, just for her to see. A tit-for-tat antic beyond which he didn’t want to think. He didn’t bother about anything else now.

The next few days flew in a buzz. The preparation for the engagement was happening in full swing. He never tried to meet her nor talk to her. He put up a mask of happiness and bliss, making sure that his new GF/would be fiancé was around him always. He made sure that his happiness and plan of settling down with her was very evident. His tweets, his FB and Whatsapp statues were all flooded with his love proclamations for his girl.

Every new step from him was causing havoc in her world. She wasn’t able to focus on her work. Every moment with her fiancé felt like she was stepping towards a big blunder. Her fiancé too didn’t make it easy for her. He was busy in his work and wasn’t giving her enough time. Their conversations too became short and to the point which sure wasn’t a good sign.

It was a new morning, right after his grand, pompous engagement ceremony. Harish called him up early in the morning to give him the news. It was the news of her bitter break up. In a second, his world seemed to change and he seemed to have forgotten everything else, their argument, their cold war, and his engagement. 

You Consume Me - Part 4

She seemed unaffected by the announcement that his friend chirpily made. He felt everything slipping away from his hands. Till now, he had been in full control of his life but tonight, it was slithering away and he didn’t have it in him to grab it back. Her indifference attitude and the genuine smiles she threw at him after hearing the announcement of his engagement with another girl had broken him from within. She didn’t care, she never did probably. All those hints and her eyes were all deceiving him, perhaps.

A fake smile adorned his lips as he opened the champagne bottle, showing off a façade of happiness just for the sake of his dear ones. He had to force his hands to obey him as he snaked his arms around the lady beside him and compellingly brought a smile in his lips. He His eyes never left her hoping for a frown or atleast a momentary sadness on her face but the smile never left her. He saw her swaying in her boyfriend’s arms and when her eyes met his for a second, it fluttered just before she showed him a thumps up for his choice. Her lips silently moved to tell him “Congratulations”

He smiled with a silent nod and turned away completely from her. He tried to put her to the back burner and immersed himself in the moment of celebrations. All were happy for him but he wasn’t one bit happy. He was the man of the moment, the person for whom all were celebrating but ironically he was mourning inside, mourning the death of a relationship that probably never existed.

That night, he drank too much that his friend (Harish) and wife (Gayathri) had to take him home. Gayu, as he called her waited outside in the car while her husband went inside to safely deposit their friend in his room. She was confused and kept muttering, “I wonder what’s wrong with him now”

Harish tucked him into the bed scolding him continuously. But once done, he sat beside his friend and caressed his messed up hair, “Tu yeh sab kyu kar raha hai? apne aap ko kyun saza deh raha hai?”

He turned away, as if all the alcohol drained away, “What do you mean Harish? I am happy and tonight was a night of celebrations….so I drank to my fill…..”

Before he could go on, Harish snapped him, “haan haan mujhe patha hai kitna khush hai tu…..don’t expect me to believe that act of yours…..seedhe seedhe usse bathatha kyun nahi? And tell me this, why this hurry to marry some random girl?”

He exactly understood where this friend headed to. Harish knew him so well that no act could fool him.

He stood up instantly and walked to the table. Gulping a glass of water and in the process also pouring some onto his face, “jab main shaadi keliye ready hoom toh tumhe kya problem yaar?”

Harish chuckled sadly, “Because I know that this wedding isn’t going to give you happiness…..rather it’s going to leave you disappointed all through your life….none except her can keep you sane and happy!”

He angrily cut his friend, “Harish please…..stop it yaar…..I don’t want to talk more on this topic….main shaadi kar raha hoom….thats it”

“Okay” Harish shrugged but added before leaving the room, “Just a message can change everything my friend….aage tumaari marzi….good night!”

Harish left without waiting for his friend’s reply. He said with a weak grin, trying his best not to sound like a desperate, obsessive devdas, “Nothing will change Harish….Can’t you see that she is happy with someone else? I don’t stand a chance!”

Do try to listen to this as you read
[Hum Tumhe Kaise Bataye]

That night felt too long.

Harish’s words did ring in his ears and he did take out his phone thrice to message her. He scrolled down to her name and clicked. No conversations so far. It felt too weird to start a talk now all of a sudden and that too on something as sensitive as this. He was officially tagged to another girl and so was she. What would he say to her?

“Let’s chuck them both out and get together”

He laughed at his own mind’s words. He was about to close the phone when he saw something surprising. She was typing on the other side. What was she going to message? Was she also having similar thoughts?

He waited and waited. She was typing and typing…..it wasn’t ending. His anticipation grew with the time she took. “Koyi special lecture hi hoga!”

He grinned cheekily for the first time that night. Only she could bring this out of him and he realized he could wait a life time for her and could endure any lecture from her, only her….just her!

Hum tumhe kaisse bataye
Tum mein kya kya baat hai
Tumse dil mein shayari hai,
Ishq ki saugath hai

Hum tumhe kaisse bataye
Tum mein kya kya baat hai
Tumse dil mein shayari hai,
Ishq ki saugath hai

Yeh hawayen chu rahin
Hain tumko jis andaz se

Yeh hawayein chu rahin
Hain tumko jis andaz se
Yeh adaon ki ada ki ek nayi shuruaat hai
Hum tume kaise batayein
Tum mein kya kya baat hai
Tumse dil mein shayari hai,
Ishq ki saugaat hai

You Consume Me - Part 3

The mere thought that she had looked out for him made him happy and now to top it up, she was coming to him. He hoped for some private time with her. Probably that’s what they lacked so far or rather intentionally avoided till this night. Her eyes sparkled and her lips curved to a sweet smile as she came closer.

He wanted her eyes to twinkle in his love and was ready to take her into his arms when someone intruded between them and pulled her back.

He couldn’t help curse his bad luck and the intruder. “Langoor kaheeka! He just had to step between”

He must have said that a little too loudly and her fiancé turned to him, smiling, “Excuse me….kuch kaha?”

He shrugged, “nothing, was just asking for a refill” and called out to the waiter.

Her eyes suddenly shrunk and the annoyance was evident. She was annoyed for two reasons. One was obviously due to the uninvited interruption or he just hoped so. Her eyes glared at the glass he took from the waiter. He so wanted to instigate her further and so kept the glass to the side and took out a cigarette. Her eyes burned in anger and accused him silently of a broken promise. He had intentionally broken his promise to her on the last promise day. It was never to light a cigar in her presence.

She turned away her focus to her fiancé though her thoughts still revolved around him and why he had broken his promise. She kept scolding and fighting to him mentally on how he never cared about his health. She kept murmuring that he needed someone like her to throttle and bring him back to right track.

By then, his friends surrounded him and engulfed him in a hug. He was fully hidden from her eyes now. A new girl walked close to him. She knew her but had never seen her in his circle of friends. Who was she?

He dropped the unlit cigarette to the bin soon after she left his vicinity and he told to himself, “I haven’t broken my promise to you darling”

He didn’t know what was happening around him. Amidst hugs and wishes, he knew in bits and pieces of the background processes that went behind him and how his family were all happy with a marriage proposal brought by his closest friend. He had never even given it a thought and had given his usual reply, “Sochenge” when his friend mentioned the girl.  He didn’t know when it went this far and reached his family too. He mentally smacked his friend for doing this to him and that too without his knowledge. The girl was pretty and was a good choice for his family but then his heart was too far. His heart wouldn’t pace up for anyone else but her.

But how will he ever reason this out? His friends and family wanted him out of an old messed up relationship which he never was in. It was all a misunderstanding and over hyped one but then he couldn’t mention her as the reason for his rejecting proposals.

He was trapped, totally trapped in this tangling web. Friends, family, their reasons, their emotions, their love for him, all lay on one side and on the other side was his untold, unrequited and probably undying love for her.

One signal from her and he would push aside everything else but her laughs echoed in his ears, her smiling face reflected in his eyes. She was happy, very happy and peaceful in her love bubble. He shouldn’t destroy that bubble.

He could hear his friend asking him for an answer, even his phone rang with his mother’s call. Both wanted just one answer from him.

He looked to the girl on his side and shook his head, “YES”.

Next Part